AfternoonTea & English

Сегодня вторник – день чтения! А мы ещё и с полезностями, как стать интересным собеседником: 3 Keys to Being Super Interesting in Conversation

First of all, there's one prerequisite to kick-start your deliberate system on the way to a great conversation: It really helps to think, 'What are my intentions as I go into this conversation?' Whatever is top-of-mind for you will shape what your brain decides to notice.

🔹prerequisite — предпосылка

🔹deliberate — преднамеренный, умышленный

1. Be interested in the other person

We need to be determined to find something interesting about the other person, something that you may have heard in the conversation that may be a fascinating fact or idea that you can follow up on with interesting questions of your own. 

Curious people have better relationships, connect better, and enjoy socializing more. In fact, other people are more easily attracted and feel socially closer to individuals that display curiosity.

🔹to be determined — решительный

🔹to display — показывать

2. Focus on the rewards, not the threats

One limitation in our brain is that it's constantly scanning the immediate surroundings for "rewards to discover and possible threats to defend against.

If your brain is only focused on the threats (a defensive mechanism), you're taking on negative stress in the moment, which makes you dumber. Being nervous about someone that you're meeting is potentially going to make you less intelligent and less interesting.

On the flip side, the brain finds self-worth and social standing the most rewarding. 🔹threat — угроза

🔹surrounding — окрестности

🔹flip side — другая сторона

🔹self-worth — самоуважение

3. Ask genuine questions

It's not a secret: People love to talk about themselves. So let them. By drawing attention to them and their story, you ultimately become the interesting one (with some serious active listening skills involved, of course). When asking questions, quality counts. If you're starting with the quintessential (and boring) conversational starters "What do you do?" and "Where are you from?" (which don't get to people's motivations or emotions), make sure to follow up with much more compelling questions and real attention-grabbers: "Oh, what made you choose to live there?" and "What is it that you most like about the job that you do?" 

🔹ultimately — в конечном счете, в конце концов

🔹quality — качество

compelling — неотразимый, непреодолимый

By taking the initiative and making the conversation about the other person, you train the deliberate system in your brain to be activated in new social situations. This selfless act of shining the spotlight on someone else first gives you the edge -- making you the more interesting person in the room.

https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/according-to-science-this-is-how-to-be-most-interesting-person-in-any-conversation.html

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